At 11:00 PM, anxiety took over me. While everyone else inside the hotel room was preparing to sleep after a day of strolling along Singapore’s shopping district, I was preparing to sneak out and try the local gay bars.
It probably wasn’t the smartest idea. It’s only my second time in country, I didn’t know where the gay bars were and going out alone isn’t exactly the safest thing to do.
But I felt so fearless that night. Like there was no way I would pass up this opportunity to explore. I had a vague idea of where I was going to go, but didn’t matter, I knew I’d get there anyway.
“Are there any gay bars in Singapore?” I asked the girl manning the concierge earlier that night hoping she wouldn’t laugh or look at me awkwardly.
She lowered her head, as she tried not to look me in the eye.
“I’ll look it up for you,” she replied.
“Just a random question, is Singapore tolerant of gay people?” I asked while she was researching.
“It’s debatable,” she said with a dubious smile.
“There a couple of gay bars nearby, but I couldn’t access them because they’re restricted sites here in the hotel.”
“Oh really? Could you just give me the addresses and I’ll look for them myself.”
“Oh I’ll print them out for you.”
Armed with a few dollars, my passport, and a few pieces of paper, I was ready to let myself go.
I felt it. I felt an energy I’ve never felt before. I was beaming with excitement, a little fidgety but thrilled with the unexplored.
I knew I was going to have a great night.
No excuses, no apologies, no regrets.
This is it. I will never be young again.