Teenage Dream

More than its catchy little beat, or singer Katy Perry’s growing gay appeal, Teenage Dream has been on loop on my iPod and in my head for weeks now simply because the song reminds me of youth– that euphoria, that carelessness, that irresponsibility, that foolishness.

I’ve always had it easy, you know. Everything was at my disposal. I was wasteful. I was careless. I was arrogant. But recent months have plunged me into unexpected independence. I’m forced to cope alone, to stand on my own two feet.

Sometimes I want to be young and carefree again; I want to wake up on the day of my oral exam and study 30 minutes before, to throw away spoiled milk and not care about being so wasteful, to get drunk and throw up in people’s cars.

Sometimes I want to be young and romantic again; I want my heart to stop beating again because of a guy, to feel like sweet gestures are worth the effort, to be foolish and innocent, to believe again that same-sex relationships can bear fruit.

Sometimes I just want to run away and never look back, just never look back.

Sometimes I just want my heart to race again for things other than work.

I really miss Katipunan, Golden Crescent, and my old life. But I just can’t be young forever.

Oh well, maturity.

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