El Nino

I ask for your forgiveness, dear reader, for this very disrespectful entry. I hope God understands me, this might just go against the fourth commandment which is to “honor your father and mother.”

But today, there were just so many hurtful things said.

I’m quite content with how the past four years have been–I mean, I think I’ve grown and matured so much, I’ve built so many lasting relationships, I’m prepared for the future, what else matters, right?

Well turns out my parents aren’t exactly overjoyed about how I performed these past few years.

“Kahit honorable mention ba wala?”

“Medj malayo po talaga,” I said in the meekest voice possible.

Did they really expect? I mean, they see my grades, and I’ve only been in the dean’s list quite a few times.

“O, tingnan mo, ano nangyari sa leadership, leadership mo na yan? Wala.”

HOW DARE YOU.

“Sino nanalo, anak? Magaling din ba?” my mother said, in her spineless, feeble voice.

She was on my side. I saw it in her eyes. Those eyes that are always a snap away from tears.

But she is weak. As she has always been. Always failing to defend her children. Looking on as our father whipped us to shreds with his thick leather belt. Mother will always be this weak.

I wondered why Papa was such a bitch tonight. Was it one of those nights that he remembers how Lolo the Army General raised him? Or was it just brought about by failed expectations?

“Tingnan mo si Anne Yu, diretso na magla-law.”

EH PUTANGINA PALA EH. Kaya ka naman pala ganyan eh.

I knew it. I fucking knew it. This was all about his ego, his bragging rights.

My father works with Anne Yu’s mother in this bank. My father’s a senior AVP, she’s a junior AVP.

As per his stories, he’d always talk to her about how Anne Yu and I are in the same course, and how I was president of this communication organization. Is that’s why he was supportive then?

And of course, how could I miss this: Anne Yu and I both considered going to Law school.

Difference is, she passed the UPLAE, I didn’t.

One point Mrs. Yu?

But that’s not how it works dear father. Move on, please.

“Sabi ko nga sa mommy niya, gusto mo bang lahat ng anak mo abogado? Hahahaha.”

INGGIT KA, HA!?

And I think this speaks of my father’s hunger for more things to gloat about.

It’s like he’s in a perpetual state of drought, always extremely thirsty.

Then Reuters called. I excused myself from dinner.

Salvation.

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