G.I Joke

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Hold on to your G.I Joe action figures because they have even more life than the movie version.

G.I Joe: The Rise of the Cobra, directed by Stephen Sommers, is a movie produced without soul or inspiration, machinated rather than crafted.

Here’s the premise: a specialized, multicultural military force formed by 23 countries aptly named G.I Joe (yes, they’re very multicultural), recruits a tough-guy soldier named Duke played, not acted by the stiffly beefy and charming Channing Tatum and his wisecrack, stereotypical black support character Ripcord played by Marlon Wayans (I told you they’re very multicultural) for its latest mission: guarding a secret nanotechnology weapon of mass destruction. When the equally ridiculous team of bad guys steals it, the Joes’ mission turns to saving the world. They set out on this mission while desecrating Paris, and even the laws of nature (ice sinks in the movie).

The biggest disappointment of the film, however, is Channing Tatum. Who cares if he can’t act, what matters is his beefy body. Too bad the film only showcased that in less than a minute.

Paramount decided not to screen this film for critics, fearing the kind of response that Transformers 2 received – this in itself is a warning, from the producers themselves.

Watching this movie is like watching fireworks, blindfolded. Labo.

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